My Love for Her
by Ferret mage
Summary: Sequel to "My Gift to Her" Syaoran thinks about his feelings for Sakura, and regrets never telling her about his love. What will Syaoran do as he thinks about his feelings and Sakura's love for Tomoyo?


**Author's Notes:** This is the official sequel to "My Gift to her." I did very well with that story so I decided that I would make the sequel involving Syaron. It's going to be pretty short because right now I'm working on another CCs story. So enjoy!

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How could I let you slip through my fingers?

How could I let you leave me so quickly?

How was I too know that you had such strong feelings for Tomoyo?

But then again...I guess it was evident all this time...

You and Tomoyo were always so close together, it seemed as if you two had always been with each other.

I guess that I'm happy that now you found the special someone for you, but I kind of hoped that the special someone would be me.

You couldn't imagine my suprise when you told that you loved her, my suprise when I found you had chosen her over me.

I held back my tears and put on a serious face, I refused to show any weakness to you.

I told you that I was happy for the both of you, that I hoped that you would be happy for the rest of your lives.

It was a lie...

After that I could hardly bare to be around you two, I would watch enviously as you would hold her in your arms and her vice versa.

Those caring touches...knowing smiles...fondiling and holding...

Granted I never saw you too kiss, although I knew you would often do it in private.

It was enough to make me sick...

I wished to myself at night that you would reconsider your feelings, that would end up my arms instead of hers.

That I would stroke her tender lips with mine...that you and me would end up together...forever.

That you and mean would spend the rest of our lives together, and possibly our afterlife with each other.

Now I lament the fact that I never told you my feelings for you, I held back my feelings and emotions and appeared as emotionless and cold as possible.

I thought that you could wait, that maybe...somehow...my feelings for you was just puppy love.

But I was wrong...dead wrong...

You fell in love with another, and was quickly stolen away from me.

I have never seen you more happy than when your with Tomoyo.

And will we end up together?

No I think not, it's never to become...

For I am not the one...

Each day and night I curse myself for carelessness, I rue all the times I could have told you of my feelings, and yet neglected to bare the truth to you.

Wait...no that's all wrong...

It was my cold demeanor that drove you away from me, it was my uncaring and mean spirited attitude that caused you to not love me.

But I was wrong...dead wrong...

Dead.

That's what I wish I was right now.

I look down onto my hands and the fiddle the object around in them, it's smooth and cold handle rubbing against my palms.

How I wish that it was your face that was in my palms right now, I wish I could hold you close to me and kiss you with all my heart and soul.

My wish for death keeps playing over and over again in my head, this wish is only supplemented by the thoughts and memories of you.

Tears form in my eyes as I think off all the joyous times I had with you, they keep going over in my head like a song you just can't get rid off.

How I wish I could just...blow them right out of my head.

I sniffled as the tears stream down my cheeks and look over at my desk, on it was a picture of you and me at a class picnic.

You were always so beautiful...no matter where we went...you were always so beautiful...

Your arms were wrapped around my neck in a loving way and you were practically hanging off my shoulder. How could I take those times for granted?

But you were gone now...gone forever with the one that you truly loved...

I wish I could just...blow the memory of you out of my head.

In fact...that sounds like a good idea.

I glanced back down from the picture the object in my hand, it was sleek black gun, fully loaded and ready to fire.

I could feel the smile form on my face as I looked at the gun, soon enough I wouldn't have to live with the thought of you with another person.

I pressed the barrel of the gun against my right temple and put my finger on the trigger, the memory of you would be gone in only a few seconds.

I stared back at your picture and my smile grew bitter.

You'll be sorry...you'll be sorry...

I can hear the gun click as I held it to my head, my hands shakes with fear and exictement as I hold the gun there.

You'll be sorry...you'll definetly be sorry...

Yet as I sit here and hold the gun there, I can't bring myself to pull the trigger.

The tears are streaming down my cheeks in giant rivers now, my hand is shaking like crazy...

I can't seem to tear my water filled eyes away from your picture, my chest is heaving up and down very rapidly.

I can't do it...

I threw the gun across the room and it clattered by the wall, I put my head into my hands and weeped with sorrow.

I couldn't bring myself to the thought of killing myself, I couldn't pull the trigger and end my pain.

It wasn't like I'm scared to die, I'm not afraid of what will happen to me when I die.

All that I could think about was how much killing me would make you sad, that was the only thought that plagued my mind.

I couldn't kill myself because I knew that it would cause you so much pain, I knew that I would ruin your own hapiness and that you would blame yourself.

No...I wouldn't cause you that kind of pain.

I know that I'll never be with you Sakura...

But I know that I'll always be here for you.

Because...

I love you...

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**Author's Notes: **So what did you think? I told you that it would be short but sweet! Anyway, like I was saying, I currently busy writing another story called...nahhh...I'll leave you guessing.

But I tell you right now that it'll blow all my other stories out of the water!


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